You know if your mail was sent successfully with qmail in the same way you
know that your mail was sent successfully with any other mail program: wait
for a bounce. Continuing to try for days isn't unique to qmail; your users have
experienced that same behavior with all of their Internet mail programs until
now, and haven't noticed it. (That's the answer, I suspect -- nothing's
changed at all except that now they know more about how it works.)
For this specific user, note that there were *two* failures; first, it took a week
to be able to contact the recipient's mail server at all, and second, the
account didn't exist when it finally got through.
If something is urgent, then email alone is a poor choice; there's no reason to
assume that it's instant. The remote site might choose to download their
mail once per day, or, for that matter, have had a broken computer for a
week. Email followed up by a phone call works well for urgent content.
Another good way to ensure that mail is deliverable is to use the
correct address in the first place!
It's not unique to email, either -- while an obviously-misaddressed letter
might be rejected when you hand it to someone at the post office, it usually
takes a delivery attempt or two before it's returned to sender.
Cheers,
--Rich